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Valentine’s Day: Perks and Pitfalls

Two Hearts are better than oneValentine’s Day can be a double edged sword, straight through the heart. Either you are delighted, and enthralled to spend time with someone, or ever to communicate from afar, or on the other hand you may feel anxiety for lack of a true sweet heart, or someone to call your own.

For many children, Valentine’s day can be a source of anxiety. Yes, there are usually plenty of friends with whom young men and women can share their play affection, and celebrate in jest at the idea of the holiday, and many can even to make gestures attributing to their real friendship in homage to the holiday.

However, at a time when most youth, boys and girls, are figuring out their relationship with the opposite sex, Valentine’s Day can act as a point of pressure. The holiday can be wielded by others to single out another colleague and make him or her feel falsely inadequate. In the coming of age, a holiday that stresses affection for a significant other can put pressure on youth to feel or experience something they simply may have no interest or desire to feel at that moment. In fact, wouldn’t you say its the same for some adults?

I myself have felt simply comfortable to be alongside my spouse and read. That can be enough for me and I feel no remorse. We can smile at each other at the turn of a new chapter and be glad, or indifferent, to be spending such a day together.

I, however, am experiencing a privilege in my wiser days, that many a young man and women have no hope to experience for another 10 or 20 years: there is no bully around me telling me how I should feel or where or what I should be. Valentine’s Day is a perfect point of exploitation for many boys and girls who get satisfaction from prying and prodding their peers. This, of course is inevitable. What would I say in that case?

I ask you, whatever your age, or your children should a parent be reading this, to remember their life is their life. Take it slow. Enjoy. Things will come in time, and there is no real benchmark you should hold yourself to if you cannot find inspiration in it. If, after all, that were the case, what would be the use of such a thing?

I can’t tell you how grateful I am to see things from a perspective of greater time. I know not everything comes readily, and the important junctures in each one’s life will be different and important because they have come naturally in that one’s life.

So, in short, remember your family, their best side, on a day like tomorrow. For companionship and good company (even if infrequent) are the things you will remember forever.

Happy Valentine’s Day, All.

– Dr. M David Kurland